Return to Calm.
Suggestions on how to return to calm state below. Choose whichever of these you enjoy and want to do.
**Note: following are mainly for those who have completed TRTP trauma therapy with me, but can benefit anyone.
Create the environment in which you can THRIVE! Including the environment between your ears! Be creative. Reduce or stop news cycles as those create a toxic environment! I CHOOSE TO KNOW, I can create the environment in which I can Thrive!
It’s said that we are the sum of the 5 people we hang out with most:
I GET TO CHOOSE, NO ONE ELSE, Who I AM. I GET TO CHOOSE, who to hang out with, people who have what I want (ie, fun, conscious, creative, musical, fit, open, adventuresome, brilliant, loving…).
Self-regulation:
How to change your emotional state: I GET TO CHOOSE my emotional state (not blame others OR communicate from victim, which sounds like: You make me feel….VS WHEN THIS HAPPENS, MY EXPERIENCE IS…I GET TO CHOOSE, HOW I FEEL
Take slow, full breaths, 5-5 to calm or longer exhales, in 5, out 7; or, 5-7-8; or, alternate nostril breathing. You can use seconds or use your pulse for counting.
Physiological Sigh: Nose Inhale, at top of inhale, a quick extra inhale followed by a sighing exhale out the mouth – repeat 3x
Box Breathing: in 4, hold 4; out 4, hold 4. Repeat 5x
Physiology impacts psychology: notice how you hold your body. Take a power position and feel powerful. DROP YOUR ENERGY, sit forward and straight, shoulder blades down and together; energy in your pelvis and thighs. The quiet power of Self. (if you sit slumped, you will feel slumped, depressed, victim).
SMILE! That’s not just a goody goody thing, those muscles actually activate the nervous system and the endocrine system (neurotransmitters like endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine!!)
Flooding (intense reaction): brain shuts down; system goes to survival: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn/appease. Frontal lobe is offline, can’t think, feel under siege. Come back to the conversation later. What do you need NOW: a drink of water…
Look around and notice 3 things you see, 3 body sensations, 3 sounds, something beautiful.
No need for investigation.
Notice: How do I WANT to feel? Take action: Drop Energy; watch a You Tube Flash Mob or baby laughing; dance; FUN
Watch Cesar Milan, dog whisperer videos! Those growling dogs may be a Part of you!
Put your face in a bowl of ice water!
4. The Chair: Just imagine: there’s another you sitting on a chair. It’s you and you love them, just like a best friend , and they’re saying, “I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?” You reply: It’s time to do something about…. (recall the Mirror from TRTP Session 1)
5. “Eye Fixation”:
Keeping your chin down and your eyes open, looking at a point high up, take a deep breath in, hold, long exhale. Repeat. The third time, deep breath in, all the way to the top of your head and above, hold, long, long exhale as your close your eyes. Just imagion (remember, what we richly imagine, the body and unconscious believe as real, like in the “lemon test”)…
You may take an elevator or escalator down, down, closing the door on your everyday life. (What we richly imagine, the body and unconscious believe as true.
Step off into a beautiful scene that your imagination creates. The sun streaming into your body and mind. Feel the warmth and brilliance, being filled with LOVE.
6. For TRTPers only, Movie scenes:
Movie Scenes: Step into a movie scene being filmed, just After an event where a younger (could be child or a day ago) you is distressed. You are the Director. You yell Freeze ! and everyone is frozen in Space and Time. Take the younger self, who unfreezes, put them safely behind you and you go back in and address THEIR (not your) person/parent/bullies/abuser…making sure the younger you sees, hears, feels and experiences whatever they need to be ok. Ie: that was not right, you don’t treat a child that way; THIS STOPS NOW! They didn’t have anyone to protect them but I’m here now and I’m a Force to be reckoned with. (Fierce Love Protection – no discussion!) DO NOT HAVE A DISCUSSION, ASK QUESTIONS, DO NOT GO INTO VICTIM. You may make an appointment if you need support with this.
take the younger you to a beautiful safe place and tell them everything they need to hear to feel ok and be safe: you are enough, you matter, you are SO lovable; I am always here for you…there is nothing you can do to make me abandon, humiliate or betray you, ever… IT’S OVER, YOU’RE SAFE.
FEEL their body return to CALM. Feel it… And the sun streams in, as you walk on that beautiful beach…
7. Do “I CHOOSES”. Be sure to DROP YOUR ENERGY! Listen to the recordings and your own. Examples:
ICTK: It’s now safe for me to be well, I choose to know that.
ICTK: I deserve a rich life, a life that has enjoyment and peace. That’s what I deserve, a wonderful life, just because I Matter.
ICTK: I deserve deep quiet joy and peace.
ICTK that it’s now safe for me to know my value. ICTK it’s now safe for me to know that I no longer need to make sure that everyone around me is happy in order for me to be ok. It’s not my job to fix everyone or everything! I choose to know that! ICTK: I can create the environment in which I can Thrive!
8. Listen to your Session 1 “Dynamic Reimagining” or
9. “Red Balloon” another “I Choose” recording
10. Other options: Yoga; Relationship Counseling or other counseling; build community; Exercise; Time Outdoors in Nature; Meditation; Podcasts or You Tubes with Conscious, Awake people. Be discerning who they are!
**11. HUG. Right hand top of left arm; Left hand across over heart to right side. Breathe and inquire:
AM I FUNDAMENTALLY OK RIGHT NOW? Pause, listen. If yes, notice where does the “yes” come from, inside, outside…
SINK INTO THE FELT SENSE OF OKAYNESS, rest there…deepen,…open, ALLOW.
12. STROKE with back of fingers along each side of the throat muscles, downward soft, slow strokes, to calm the vagus nerve.
13. RECOMMENDED: Make a recording of what helps you, as a reminder. Like 5-5 breaths with smile and gratitudes; ICTK’s…
14. GRATITUDES. At least 5 EVERY DAY!
15. If you are wanting consciousness expansion, check out: perfectlyokay.org
When you want guidance to your next unfolding, be in touch.
YOU ARE SAFE, YOU ARE LOVED,
YOU ARE AMAZING!!